i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
