It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
