My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
