I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
