I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
