This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize