I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
