i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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