bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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