this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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