But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
