plz talk dirty to me
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
