6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
