No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
