its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
