There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
