The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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