what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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