I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
