I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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