We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I AM VODKA MAN
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
