Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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