good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
