Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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