I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
