Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
