The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
