Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize