like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
well you can't waste a boner
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize