i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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