Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
