The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We have so much sex to catch up on
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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