the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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