they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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