Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
