our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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