He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sext me about skeletons
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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