i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
