I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
