HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
