i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
