proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
