hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
