Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
