we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
