obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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