he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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