office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
