Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
