Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
