Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
