You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
