She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
