haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
