Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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