The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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