Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
