why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
