I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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