I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
