420 ftw
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
